Saturday, September 22, 2012

K-Mart: A Blue Light Special of My Own

 
 
 

  
                            
 


~Mike Wolcott
 
 
 
          I attended the Buffalo Bills home opener last weekend. My friend Heather had an extra ticket to the game and was nice enough to invite me to come along with her. Prior to the game, the two of us met up with a few friends in the parking lot for some tailgating (drinking). While tailgating, a man approached us to see if we were interested in purchasing Buffalo Bills t-shirts. When I asked if he had size large, his reply was "Yea man I gotta size large for you and I gotta size SEXY for the young lady!" Heather was not interested in a size sexy, but I purchased a large and the man was on his way.

          When I tried on the shirt the next day, I was disappointed to find that it was too small (maybe I should’ve gotten a size sexy, it probably would’ve fit perfectly ha). The shirt was useless to me, so I figured that I might as well give it to someone who could use it. Later that day, I brought the shirt with me to the gym to give to my friend Dan, who is slightly smaller than me. It was a perfect fit for Dan. Unfortunately, he forgot to take it with him when we left.

          As we were leaving the gym, I told Dan that I was on my way to the next door K-Mart. "What are you going there for?" asked Dan. "I need to buy some things" I replied, "Deodorant, razors, and bread (I needed bread for my sandwich the next day)." Dan looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, "They sell bread at K-Mart?"

          When I stepped through the doors of the "Big K," I realized it had been a long time since I was last there. I chuckled to myself because the employees looked like they were out of the 1950s, and I was the only non-employee in the store. At first I struggled to find what I was looking for because the layout of things made little sense. Eventually, I came upon the only bread sold in the store. The bread was labeled as "King Sized White Bread." I didn’t want white bread, nor did I want "King Sized" bread, but I really didn’t have a choice.

          I didn’t have my choice of breads, but I did have my choice of checkouts. As I said before, there was no one in the store other than a handful of employees. I handed my purchases to one of the cashiers, and noticed some really nice Buffalo Bills shirts hanging on the wall. "Maybe I’ll start doing more clothes shopping at K-Mart" I thought. I took a large blue Bills shirt down from the wall as a replacement for the one that didn’t fit from the previous day. I handed the shirt to the cashier who put it in my bag.  When I got home, I realized that she had forgotten to scan it.  It was my lucky day, a free shirt to make up for the one that I got screwed out of the day before.  I learned two things that day: everything evens out in the end, and they DO sell bread at K-Mart.




 

 

                                      

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