Stop Caring So Much About What People Think

~Mike Wolcott

      Several weeks ago I attended the Allentown Art Festival with my former girlfriend, Lindsay. I am not a connoisseur of art by any stretch of the imagination, but I did enjoy walking around, observing people, and looking at some paintings. One of the stands at the festival was selling really cool looking walking sticks. These things were badass; they had antlers on the top and faces carved into the front. I wanted to buy one but realized it didn’t make any practical sense. For a moment I wished I had a torn ACL.

       After an hour or so of walking around, Lindsay and I ordered two chicken gyros. We sat down on a curb to enjoy them (I know how to treat a lady!), and began to observe people as they walked by. Lindsay started chuckling at an old man walking by with a smile on his face, a goofy looking hat, high socks, and a hoodie tied around his waist. Lindsay found him amusing and made fun of him, but I immediately felt a sense of respect for this man. He seemed relaxed and was having a good time. He clearly did not give a fuck about what people thought about him.

       I observed many more people as they walked by that day. There was no shortage of "Jersey Shore" looking guys with tattoos and slick hair walking around with a contrived strut. There was also no shortage of chicks with fake tans and makeup laden faces wearing $80 jeans. These guys and gals obviously cared immensely about how they were perceived by others and had chosen to conform to mainstream society. As I observed these folks I kept thinking about the happy man with the hoodie wrapped around his waist and the goofy hat. This guy had it right; he simply didn’t give a fuck.

       Why do we care so much about what people think? My father always taught me that trying to impress others is futile. Most people are more concerned with the pimples on their own face than they are with anything concerning anyone else. I can’t remember the last time I said, "Wow that guy drives a really nice car, I’m so impressed, I wish I was his friend," or "Wow that guy shot an 82 at Elma Meadows golf course, I really wish I could be more like him!" The truth is that most people are so wrapped up in themselves that they couldn't really care less about you. Stop trying to impress them and stop concerning yourself with what they think.

       Caring less about what people think of you is incredibly liberating. For example, when I first started going to the gym I was embarrassed to do certain workouts because of how weak I would look. Eventually I realized that it was time to stop concerning myself with others. Nowadays, all my focus goes into getting the best workout possible for myself. I couldn't care less about what the the 5’8 200lb guy next to me with no neck thinks. He’s probably not going to remember me two minutes later and if he did, so what?

        With all this said, at the end of the day we are only human, and it’s natural to seek some level validation from others. Many of us don’t have the benefit of being able to dress like the old man from the Art Festival (if we want to attract the opposite sex). I understand all this, but a major problem arises when we allow other people to dictate our actions or define who we are. Why should we let the fear of what other people think determine who we date, where we work, what music we listen to, and what clothes we wear? Stop conforming, and stop trying to impress other people. Instead, define yourself, and take pride in being a person that YOU are happy with. Stop caring so much about what people think.